I’m not depressed, I’m discontent.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
-- C.S. Lewis

I’m not depressed, I’m discontent. I’ve lived a very happy life surrounded by amazing and supportive people. I look at some situations and wonder how people cope and wake up every day. I feel like I personally don’t have the right to get down about my trivial dilemmas; scattered worries that cloud an otherwise perfect existence. My greatest demon in the back of my mind is the one screaming out , “There’s more to life and you’re missing it!”. Contentment is my carrot just out of reach. My numerous and immeasurable dreams often frighten me. Not dreams you have in your sleep or even daydreams; real-life tangible endeavors. I’m on the edge of the diving board about to jump off but I keep letting others hold me back. Who is this girl that has surrendered her will to the influence of everyone around her? It’s time to take the first step - God, I'm all yours, discontent to not be content anymore.

Song for thought:

Brooke Fraser

C.S. Lewis Song

New worship songs I'm enjoying

I've added a few new songs to our set list @ TheLifeChurchGA. Here's the links if you want them for yourself:
Bless Your Name
Healing is in Your Hands
Our God
I Will Exalt You

Enjoy!

running???

I'm very good at the "starting" to run phase. I know the process, I know how I'll be very hungry the first three days. I know that I'll be sore after the first .5 mile. What I'm lacking is the will to keep going after 4-5 months of running hard. Something always happens to set me back. This time around...I was chased by wild dogs. It was sometime in December and I was on a great streak of running and doing really great with it. The wild things came up behind me and started closing in on me. I ran faster than I've ever run and believe me, I'm not a fast runner. I crossed HWY 9 in a blazing flash of blonde highlights. Luckily, the beasts did not cross the highway. The only problem...I have to double back to get home. I was stuck in subdivision hell with a one-eye dog and his evil friend guarding the gate and they weren't budging (I must have looked tasty to them). I tried to call a couple of friends to come pick me up but it was too early and they were still in bed. I pondered a bit then realized that if I cut through the woods, 4 chicken houses, and a gravel road I could make it home. I did just that and haven't been back out for a run in 4 months.

So…I have resolved to get out and try again but on Friday morning it was like they had been waiting for me this whole time. At least this time I knew the way home and was out of the way before they got too close.

I know what you're thinking - and what others have told me to do. Pepper spray, bleach, just kick them...and while I appreciate the input I just can't run with the thought of them sneaking up behind me (although it does make for a fast tempo run). And when my head is on the pillow every am trying to decide weather to stay put or go face the beast it’s pretty obvious which one I’ll choose.

Take three, I’m meeting my sister at the park. Central park in Cumming has become my runner’s safety zone. But even this new spot has issues. One being the fact that I can’t stand to run alongside anyone else, don’t judge me – I’m special. I’m such a slow runner I feel like even the walking grandma’s are laughing at me. Ok, it might not be that dramatic but I’m a work in progress and slowly overcoming my fears of the grandma club.

My goal is to keep running. That’s it. Obstacles will get in the way but I cannot let injuries, dogs, and even grandmothers slow me down. I want to lose weight, get in better shape, and I know if I keep running the rest will follow…literally. This is for me.

My Life In Ruins

I’m in the country. I. live. in. the. country. Not the urban city, not romantic Paris, not the kid-friendly suburbs but the chicken-smellin’ country. Youthful ambition matched with available property and at the age of 25 I was the proud owner of a...well, I’ll glorify it by calling it a ranch (although plantation has a much nicer ring to it).

Being a single woman on the farm I’ve had to learn to take care of a few things myself. Try priming the well in 20-degree weather. Or my favorite; crawling under the cross boards to place a heater on frozen pipes. I can handle these chores pretty well, just don’t make me deal with a spider! The vacuum is my tool of choice when dealing with these spawn of the devil. Just aim and suck. No more spider.

So here I am. Life on the farm. It’s a good life, my house has tons of character (haha…needs improvement). But what I love best is gathering friends around the campfire, deep conversations over coffee, and looking out my window in the mornings with the sun rising over the lake behind my house.

This year I want to...

My new years resolution is all about no. That's right, practicing the art of saying no. I'm already going through withdrawals. NO!!!!!!! I'm a total junkie for pleasing people. Are there no means by which to measure how you're doing on this resolution? Oh well, I think I would fail any test just yet. I'm new to this. I'm gonna go now, I've got to go do something for somebody else...oh crap, I just failed again, didn't I? Better luck next year. By the way, is there anything I can do for you? Just let me know.

What is this blog about???

For many many months I've been trying to get a handle on this blog. Should it be about music? How about websites? Travel? And don't forget about the little things in life that keep coming up...pipes freezing, rugby, or crafty hobbies. Well, that's just it. I can't compartmentalize my life enough to only write about one topic. So I believe I've found my blog. It's me, life in general. Anything from traveling adventures to church graphics. If you don't like what I've got to say just come back another time and I'm sure the topic might be of more interest.